Today, i came across an article on the Manila Bulletin dated April 27, 2008, entitled MARRIAGE REALITY CHECKLIST. It's an excerpt from a handbook called "The W@W Wedding Primer (Every Pinoy Soon-to-Wed's Guide to the Big Day and Beyond). It got my attention,not that I'm getting married in the near future but yes, settling down and having a family are included in my game plan. As they say, it's very easy to have a wedding but to have a marriage takes a lot of time and effort. I'm not in the right position to attest to that but I agree that preparing for a day's celebration is much easier compared to preparing for a lifetime commitment. So, for those who are thinking, planning, and soon-to wed couples here's the checklist of things you might want to discuss first before proceeding with your marriage plans. And also to those married couples out there, never too late to tackle these issues if you haven't talked about it before. Remember that good communication is the key to lasting relationship!
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PERSONAL - Do I do anything that bugs you? If I can't change, could you live with that for the rest of our lives?
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CHILDREN - How many children do you want? Who's going to be the primary caregiver? How would you feel if we aren't blessed with any? Are you open to adoption?
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PRENUP - Do you feel there's a need for us to have a prenuptial agreement?
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FINANCES - Who will handle the household budget? Do we remit our full salary to the same pool or will we be allowed to have personal savings and to spend from our own income? Do you have any financial obligations to your family? Do you have debts?
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DWELLING - Where will we live when we get married? Is living with my family or yours an option? If so, when do we expect to move out?
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HEALTH - Do we have any health issues the other should know of? Are there any health concerns that we could potentially pass on to our children or should be prepared for financially?
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RELIGION (different religion/beliefs) - Do you expect me to convert to your religion? Or will you respect it if I choose to continue practicing what I believe in? Into which religion should our children be brought up?
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PRIVACY - Are we allowed to answer calls on each other's cellphones? Are we free to read each other's text messages, emails and letters? Can we just open each other's purse or wallet without prior permission or will it be a big deal?
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SEX - Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences, and problems?
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FUTURE IN-LAWS - Does my family do anything that annoys you? Do you feel they will interfere with our marriage? Will it be all right with you if I keep supporting my family (physically/financially) even if we're already married?
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CAREER - Do you expect me to be a full-time housewife? Would you be bothered if my job pays better than yours?
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CHORES - What household chores do you expect me to do? Are we hiring household help?
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LIFESTYLE - What do you wish/expect me to change in my present lifestyle?
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VICES - Do you have any drinking, drug, or gambling problems that I should know of? Once I am pregnant, will you quit smoking?
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FRIENDS - Who among my friends do you feel is a bad influence? Are we still allowed to go out with them for late night "gimmicks' when we're married?
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MIGRATION - Do you see us raising our family here in the Philippines, or is migrating to a foreign land in our plans? Would you consider a job abroad and leave your family behind for a better life?
